14 October 2012

Headed to boot camp...again!

Tomorrow I am starting boot camp for the 3rd time. The first 2 were before our wedding though. I had such good results with them that I want to give it another try and see where I can get this time around. At last to lose the baby fat I gained and get back to my pre-pregnancy weight. Here are my goals...and I'm going to be brutally honest to hold myself accountable. 

Goal number one: to get back down to 160 lbs. (my pregnancy weight) I believe I have 10 lbs to go.
Goal number two: to lose an additional 20 lbs to get back to my pre England weight...140 lbs.

So a total of 30 lbs to lose over all.

Goal number three: to fit into my size 10's
And my final goal: to fit back into my size 8's.

Goal's one and three are my two goals I will be mainly focusing on but I want to push myself beyond that and make my ultimate goals. Those, however, may take longer then 6 weeks to meet. I will give weekly updates with my progress I've made. Tomorrow when I weigh in I will post my starting weight and measurements along with my starting picture. I am excited to get this going! Help cheer me on and encourage me to keep at it...not just the working out but the eating right too!  

05 October 2012

Post Partum... is that what I am fighting?

So this post is going to be a bit personal. Well very personal! I thought if I talk about some of the feelings I am having maybe it will help me feel better. I sure hope so cause I am fighting this post-partum stuff like crazy! (Even though the doctors tests say I am fine and I do not think I truly have it...at least not yet.)

After Emalyn was born I had a rush of emotions! The first emotion I felt was so much love! It was overwhelming and as the saying goes, my cup was over flowing! :) I remember I would cry for anything! I would just hold her while I nursed her and would just cry with so much love and happiness!   But another feeling I was having was anxiety! A LOT of it! I had fears of fires, losing jobs and having no money, people shooting us in a public place, the way our world is going and how that is going to effect her, etc. These fears would overwhelm me and I would just lay in bed holding her and cry. These feelings, however, have passed and although I still worry about them at times they aren't an everyday fear and overwhelming feeling.

The feelings I am struggling with now are the feelings of "What if I fail her? What if I am ruining her life by doing this?"  I feel so saddened by the fact that the biggest things I wanted in life I feel like I fail at them all...being a wife, a teacher, a mommy, a good friend, and a good Christian women!  I wanted nothing more then to be a good wife and do all the things a wife "should" do...clean, cook, laundry, making cookies, crafts, decorate a nice home, etc. I have the good intentions of doing all those things but do I do them? NOPE! Or at least not most of the time. FAIL! I wanted so badly to be an amazing teacher and help those kids that struggle like I did! I never could even get a job and now I don't think I remember how to even do a lesson plan!!! FAIL! Being a good friend...Failed! Being a good Christian women...Failed!!! And then being a mommy! I wanted this so badly!! And now here I am a mommy to the most precious baby girl and I am scared to death that everything I do is wrong! It's going to screw her life up! I feel like all I see or hear is my friends and family doing it all the "right" way! Their kids are perfect, happy, and are well behaved babies/kids. What am I doing wrong? What if I fail at this too?!? How do you know if you are doing it all right? Do you breastfeed or bottle feed, do you use diapers or cloth, do you carry or stroller, Co-sleep or crib and when, get shots or don't, etc. There is so much and it scares me that I am doing it all wrong! What if I don't put her on her tummy enough or what if I don't read to her enough! How can I make her feel so loved and like she deserves nothing but the best! I don't want her to make the mistakes I made! I want NOTHING but the best for her and how  do I make sure she gets it???

Are these feelings normal? Did any of my other mommy friends/family feel these too? What things did you do to help cope with these feelings and make sure you were doing what was best for you baby?

Oh Lord! Help me do this!!! I don't want to fail at this too!!!

04 October 2012

The birth story of Emalyn Grace

I know a few of you have been asking for the story of Emalyn's birth and although it's been almost 2 months since she was born (REALLY?!?!? Two months, already?!?!) I figured I'd better get that out there!

The last week of July JT and I helped out in VBS at the chapel on base. It was probably one of the hottest weeks in England to date and I was BIG and ready to meet my baby girl. I kept talking to friends and family telling them that I just felt like Emalyn would come early but everyone kept saying to me that most first time moms don't come early but I just had a feeling...but what do I know! :) I did however want her to be born in August so I would talk to her in my belly and tell her that she couldn't come until August 1st. That weekend we went to a BBQ at a friends house and they were playing volleyball. I got out there and played for a little bit. Everyone was concerned that I would go into labor and I kept telling them...That's the point! :) But nothing happened...which is good I guess cause I still had 4 days until August.

July 31st I was having a bad day...I was tired ( wasn't getting hardly any sleep) and I wanted to go walk. JT didn't want to go and that upset me so I stormed off by myself. I walked hard and fast. I felt the Braxton Hicks coming a bit stronger then normal but just blew off...I could still walk and talk and they weren't regular. So after walking for 45 minutes at 38 weeks I came home and went to bed feeling fine. Nothing different.

The next morning I woke up around 8:45 AM when JT kissed me goodbye. I rolled over to go back to sleep and just a LITTLE bit of what I thought was pee came out. I thought on geez...well it was hardly anything at all so I just kept sleeping. A little bit later I roll back over and again just a LITTLE bit came out. I thought..."man...I guess I really need to go to the bathroom". So I got up and started to waddle to the bathroom. JUST as I start to enter into the bathroom...off of the carpet...I feel a bunch of water come out. I thought...Oh my goodness...I REALLY had to go!!! A bit embarrassed and glad JT wasn't home I headed to the toilet and finish the job. When I went to stand up a whole bunch more water comes gushing out. I then start to panic and think...that's not pee...that's my water!!! So I sit back down and begin to talk to myself trying to calm myself down and try and figure out how I was going to get my phone that was by the bed without getting water all over the place. Well, after freaking out the dog and managing to get my phone without too much of a mess, I started the journey of trying to get ahold of my husband! For at least the last couple of months I had been telling JT that he needed to make sure to have his phone on him or let me know how to get ahold of him if he wasn't able to use his cell..."what if I go into labor???...but he always blew it off like it would all be okay. HA! Well I call and call and call every number I had for him and NOTHING!!! Probably 10 to 15 minutes go by of me trying to get ahold of him and getting nothing, that I begin to call the main number but putting in any random last four hoping I would get someone that works close to him...nothing...until some guy answers. Turns out this guy doesn't work in finance, doesn't work on his floor, and he even doesn't work in the same building! HA How did that happen? So after the guy thinking I was pretty crazy I finally tell him that I am pregnant and my water just broke..."WHAT?!?!? Do you need an ambulance?" I told him I was trying to get ahold of my husband but he wasn't answering and was hoping he worked near him. It worked out that he knew who JT was and knew other people that worked with him so he got ahold of them for me!

He called his office and told the lady that worked right next to JT. Once he told her what was going on she hangs up the phone on him, stands up and screams "DANA'S WATER BROKE!!! DANA'S WATER BROKE!!!" as she runs through the office to get JT. JT gets the message and runs home. Now I am the one who is calm and he is freaking out! "What do we need, what do I do, are you okay, etc?" Once I knew he was on his way home I was good. I jumped in the shower and washed off. Did my hair and make up and we were out the door.

We arrived at the hospital around 10:45 AM. They checked us in and put us in the waiting room until an actual room opened up. After waiting in there for about 2 hours they hooked me up to the pitocin to get my contractions going. I wasn't feeling any of them.





Once we got into our room things got a bit blurry as to what all happened. I just know it took a long time for me to even start getting contractions but once I did they were STRONG but I wasn't very dilated. I believe it was some time in the late evening I couldn't handle it anymore.















I was at about 5.5 CM. I didn't want to get an epidural so they gave me some kind of pain killer through my IV to easy the pain. That only lasted about 30 minutes or so. I waited a while longer, to about 11:30pm I think. I had been throwing up, sweating buckets but cold as ice, and shaking uncontrollable. I was 8 cm at this point but I wanted to quit! Throw in the towel, I am DONE! So I gave in and got the epidural. It helped a lot for awhile. I got some rest for the first time since the night before but it stopped working on my right side. They had to up my dosage and gave me a shot to help numb me faster and then I had to push!!! I couldn't even feel my legs, much less my contracts to know when to push! With the help of a nurse and JT lifting my legs I began to push! After awhile though the epidural wore off again but this time she was coming! We believe it was about 3 or so hours of actual pushing until she came at 3:02am!




Once she was out, emotions ran! JT sobbed and I couldn't keep my eyes off of her! I had tore just a bit so the doctor stitched me up while they cleaned her. Once both were done they brought her to me and placed her in my arms. I knew right then that my life was never going to be  the same again. My love for her was so big. It was overwhelming. I cried with so much joy and love for both my baby girl and my husband!




She was such a great baby. When she came out she didn't cry. She just kind of fussed a bit and looked around. Even while they cleaned her and poked her. She only cried when they gave her a bath and she got poked for the jaundice. Aww yes, the jaundice. Turned out that she had a pretty high level of jaundice. The day we were suppose to leave the doctor came in and told us about her jaundice. All I remembered her saying was "it's in the level of her getting brain damage". I heard nothing else! She had to be in the light therapy for 17 hours so that meant we had to stay another 24 hours or just about. I just cried and cried while she was in there. It broke my heart even though she was fine. Hardly ever cried.

After being in there for 17 hours she was good! We were able to go home and we were so excited to get home. Feels like just yesterday that we brought her home and it's been 2 months now. Time really does go by so fast!






















Welcome home sweet Emalyn Grace!





18 April 2012

A new start

It has been a year and a week or so since I last wrote on my blog. Both our labtops broke and we only have our Ipod to use. It kind of makes typing more difficult but I thought I would give it a try. I have a lot to catch up on so I will try and make some entries to catch myself up. Since my last entry we had our wedding, moved into base housing, bought our first car as Mr and Mrs Atarama, found out we are having a baby, made a trip to Indiana for Christmas, had my 30th birthday, and a lot of other little things happened. I would like to share these events with photos as well. I hope to catch up and keep up with this as time goes on. So keep an eye out for the next entry...it will be coming soon! Much love, Dana

07 April 2011

Unconditional Love

Unconditional, what does that mean? The Webster definition states: Unconditional-not conditional or limited: absolute; unqualified. Some of the synonyms they give are all-out, complete, definite, flat-out, perfect, pure, simple, absolute, and utter. Those were just a few that I liked! This phrase 'Unconditional love' is one that I have strived for, for years! I love the Bible verse 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. This is one verse I have tried for so long to live by and it is so hard. I think I have failed in every area of what it says love is.

Personally I would like to say that I have a big heart! I love to love others! I want them to know they are loved! I try to show that to my family and friends in so many different ways. I've read the 5 Love Languages many times and it says that most people have one or two ways that they show love the strongest. I have a hard time picking what are my strongest! I find that I do them all! I'm not writing this to brag about myself or to say that I am the best at showing love. I know that I am not! I have just been struggling with this "topic" for a while and yesterday I had a LITTLE bit of a breakthrough and I wanted to share my thoughts. And that is all it is...my thoughts! Anyway, back to the love languages. I love to send cards, letters, and little gifts to people. I love to hang out with people, give them hugs, do things for them, etc. I admit I possible could do this a little too much but I enjoy it! I like to make people feel good and let them know I love them! BUT in the last few years it's really hit me hard how little people do it back or even just say a thank you! In my mind I don't get it! I don't understand why not! There really are few excuses not to.

Yesterday I had a bit of a break down and I called someone I thought would give me good advice and understand where I was coming from (mostly because we really are a lot alike). This person told me something that hit me. She said, "Think of it this way. Isn't what you are going through the same thing God goes through daily with all of us?" Hmm...Never thought of it that way! When I hung up I cried...some more...and prayed to God! I told him how sorry I am for ever hurting him the way I have! I never want anyone, especially HIM to hurt the way I do. She also told me that we have to get to a point where we do it simple for the enjoyment we get by doing those things for others! I would like to get to that point and fast! I hate being so disappointed and hurt and feeling like people don't love me and the only way I can do that is to love THEM unconditionally!

I love you all!!!!!!!!!

24 March 2011

Week 3 and 4 of Boot Camp

So I didn't get to blog last week. It's been a pretty crazy month for me. In all honesty I am ready for it to slow down and to be in OKC. Yes I know even when I am there it will be crazy busy too but it will be a different kind of busy...one that I think I will enjoy! I am counting down the days...69 to go! 78 until the wedding day! :) Okay now back to boot camp....Last week, was a disappointing week for me. We weighted in like we do every week and....NOTHING. I didn't lose a thing! I feel like I work so hard and I try really hard to eat the right things and I expect to see SOMETHING but I got not an ounce! I left wanting to give up. Thinking to myself, "what's the point?" But this week I got back to it and I'm feeling strong again. We weight in again tonight and I hope no matter what it says I can stay strong and keep pushing through. I was told today by THREE people all in 2 hours that I looked GREAT and that I looked skinny!!! YAY!!! That made me feel good so at least I know something is working. :) I have an example of one of the workouts we did on Tuesday. It wasn't as bad as some of the others but it's one that I wrote down and thought I would challenge you all to try yourself.

Warm up on the bike for 5 minutes at a level 5 or 6

Push the level up to at least a 10 and peddle as hard as you can for 30 seconds and then slow it down for 30 seconds. Do this for 5 minutes.

2 sets of 30 on a shoulder weight machine

2 sets of 100 jump ropes

2 sets of 30 cattle bell swings

2 sets of 30 leg presses

5 mins at level 10 stair steppers

3 sets of 5 burpies

2 sets of 30 pull up machine

2 sets of 30 crunches with weighted ball

2 sets of 30 chest press

3 straight minutes-no stops wall squats (you put a yoga ball on your lower back and squat)

10% incline for 5 minutes on the treadmill

Finish with a 5 minute cool down on the bike

This is what we did on Tuesday night this week. I felt like I was going throw up by the end and had to stay longer than the 60 minutes to complete the whole thing but I did it! Try it out. If you don't know what something is find a trainer at your gym or email me and I'll explain the best I can. Anyway, I'll let yall know my result from my weight in tonight. Pray it's something good so my spirits will stay high! Much love from Sunny England (finally)!

11 March 2011

Boot Camp week 2=FINISHED

So I've completed two weeks of boot camp already. It's been hard. My body hurts so bad that I hardly can walk. Between my angle hurting, my knee hurting, my shins killing me, and then just the normal pain of muscle hurting I feel like I'm going to die...every day! It never gets better! lol I know in the end I will be proud and the pain will be worth it!

This week was tough. Monday we had to run at a 10% incline on the treadmill for 10 mins! UMMM...are they crazy?? LOL I couldn't run the whole time but I sure tired. My legs were burning so bad. After that they taught us how to use the weight machines. I have never left feeling like that after lifting weights. It was all legs and arms-two sets of 15 and in between each rotation we had to do push-ups and jumping squats. We rotated in between 7 different machines going around 3 times. It was tough.

Tuesday we went to the commissary and were taught what foods to eat and not eat and what things to buy and not to buy. I learned a lot of things such as your sugars should be 5 to 6 grams or less and your fats 6 to 7 grams. Whole wheat and no whites! But you have to check the first ingredient to make sure it says WHOLE WHEAT because there is a lot of false advertising on packages. We also had to do 60 mins of cardio that day since we didn't do anything at boot camp so I did the kickboxing class taught by one of our trainers.

Wednesday we did the 10% incline on the treadmill for 10 mins again and then we did the same thing we did with our arm and leg weight lifting but this time we did it with ab exercise. It was pretty killer. I laughed yesterday because I think it was on Tuesday that I read my friend Katie's status on Facebook where she said "It hurts my abs when I sneeze." I sneezed yesterday and laughed because it hurt when I sneezed. I felt your pain Katie! :) After the ab workout we had to do the same arm and leg machines 2 rounds.

Yesterday (Thursday) we weighed in!!! I weighed in at 166.4!!!!!! I have lost 4 pounds!!! The trainers were so impressed and very proud of me! I was the only one to really lose that much! I left feeling great! After weigh-in we did a high intensity workout with weighted bar, weighted balls and squats, running, and lunges!

With my results this past week of real workout and eating right (we started two weeks ago on Monday but we haven't really worked out or started eating right until Thursday) I feel great! I want to keep pushing myself and see how far I can go! It made me want to work even harder...no cheating when it comes to eating and working my hardest at each workout. The weekends are the hardest for me. There is usually at least one party of some short with lots of yummy yummy food but OH SO bad for me! We also have to do two day so of work out on the weekend. They call it our homework. This weekend’s homework is to do 2 different cardios for 35mins and 500 total of our 3 "favorite" ab workouts, 500 jump ropes, and 50 pushups. I think that's it! :) I don't have it in front of me.

Thank you to everyone who keeps encouraging me and supporting me! I truly appreciate it!